This is a rambling health post. You may leave now if you so desire.
You’re still here. OK.
I’ve worked really hard this year to do something about my health, to maintain the status quo and improve where I can.
I’ve been doing physio, I went back to a fairly strict interpretation of the FODMAP diet, I took up yoga, I even saw a naturopath.
But I’m done.
I’m done with analysing everything, of people prodding and poking at me (often in intimate areas thank you very much endometriosis). I’m done with lists of pills, powders, and god knows what else I’m “supposed” to be taking. I’m done with charts of meds giving me times of when I have to take certain things.
“This one 15 minutes before food, along with this one. This one just before you start eating. This one after you’ve finished eating. Oh and this one too.”
I’m cancelling most of the appointments I have booked for the rest of the year (with the exception of physio for my feet because if I stop now then I’m going to have to go through the pain again when I start back up because everything will backslide)
I’m not going to do the tests the naturopath has asked me to do. Because if they’re negative then it was a waste of time and money. If it’s positive then I’ll end up taking more pills.
And that’s a no.
I’ve been tracking my pain and fatigue the last three months and I’ve had barely a handful of days when the pain has hit even a 5, most of the time it’s a 1 maybe a 2. And that’s without taking painkillers. The fatigue sometimes hits a 4, but that’s mostly at 1 or 2.
And you know what? That’s bloody brilliant and nothing short of miraculous given that 5 years ago I couldn’t walk to the end of the driveway for pain, and even if I did make it I needed a two hour nap because of the fatigue.
I did a 12km hike on Monday for crying out loud! And still came home and did household chores and cooked dinner.
From where I was, my improvement to this point is about 95% I’d say. I’m actually ok with that 5% outstanding. After all, I have three conditions that cause chronic pain and fatigue.
My headaches have subsided and whilst I thought I was getting a lot of migraines, I think I’m actually ok with the 2 a month I seem to be getting.
Could I get that other 5%? Probably. But it seems to be taking an increasing amount of appointments, time and significant money in order to do it.
I’m done. I’m happy with my 95% improvement from this time 5 years ago.
And anyone with my conditions would be happy with that.
Maybe I’ll revisit some of the extra things in time. But for now, I’m happy to accept the status quo. It gives me a lot of reserves to survive any flares that come my way, and it’s a hell of a lot better than I could’ve hoped for in the past.
I’m done I tells ya.